GIST ME JOOR

Amaechi: That one? Listen to who?

Dickson: Come Amaechi, na our Oga you dey call that one?

Amaechi: You and who Oga? Me I no know any Oga.

Yuguda: Rotimi you know you have enough trouble already.Your mouth go soon turn you to Ibori.

Dickson: Ibori own go better. Shebi Timipre don dey hear am.E go soon be Amaechi turn.

Aliyu: My brothers, these new developments are not a joking matter. We cannot sit down and allow our colleagues to be hounded. This forum is supposed to be protecting each other. If we continue to allow this, we don't know who will be next?

Lamido: It is a bad development. At least Obasanjo will call you and tell you that he will deal with you. It will give you time to go and beg and pledge loyalty. This one will just destroy you without warning.

Imoke: But let us be fair. Some of our brothers are the architects of their own problems.

Uduaghan: How? So Governors should now be subservient toMinisters that we sent to Abuja abi?

Amaechi: See me see trouble oh. A Minister I sent to Abuja is now the person they are using to destroy me. And it's my fault?

Aregbesola: PDP problem. Your party is not democratic, that is why you people are facing power tussle all the time from left, right and center.

Orji: See this man oh. If we are not democratic, which party is? Or are you saying that Tinubu choosing all of you and putting in office is democracy?

Mimiko: TA please don't mind the funny man. See pot calling kettle black. Anointed candidate that didn't ever see primary trying to educate others on democracy.

Aregbesola: Who was anointed? What is this man talking about?

Shema: Please two of you should leave your problems at home. We have important things to talk about here.

Nyarko: Please what is more important than Governors being hounded by Ministers they appointed? We have people in Abuja fighting us for control of the party in the States. These people were never elected into office. In my case, the National Chairman is fighting me just because he is from my State. Same thing Nwodo did to Chime.

Fayemi: But that is a PDP problem. We are here to discuss national issues.

Kwankwaso: No Kayode it's not like that. If PDP is in crisis, the nation is in crisis.

Oshiomhole: Then you people should get your act together.

Jang: Let me chip in. I don't think you people understand what the crisis in PDP can lead to. It can destroy the peace in the polity.

Amosun: If it is that bad now, liberate yourself and come and join APC.

Suswan: APC should register first now before inviting others.

(Laughter bursts out)

Obi: I think we need to resolve the PDP issue. Our colleagues have to stop fighting the President. If they do that maybe there will be peace in PDP.

Aliyu: Who is fighting the President? Or can't you see that his people are the one's doing the fighting?

Obi: If the President is fighting you, then go and beg him to stop because you can't win. What will complaining do?

Amaechi: Haba Peter. So Governor's now should now become second to Ministers?

Fashola: But this is a PDP problem. I think you PDP Governors should address this in your PDP Governors forum meeting. We didn't travel here to discuss PDP.

Oshiomhole: Very true. I have important things to do than to be discussing PDP. I have my own trouble with them at home. I am not here to listen to others complain.

Shettima: I have something important to say on behalf of myself, and the Governors of Yobe and Adamawa. 

Amaechi: Please go ahead.

Shettima: We want to thank all of you foryour support in making sure that we retain our offices. We are very grateful.

Nyarko: Yes, we are grateful. I still don't understand why they included my State. We have been making progress.

Amaechi: On behalf of all the Governor's, we thank you, and pledge our continued support.

Okorocha: Nyarko is very lucky that their National Chairman did not use this opportunity to remove him.

Geidam: Nyarko has nine lives. They have been trying to remove him since and he has been surviving.

Suswan: Na old soldier now.

Wammako: Old soldier never die.

(Laughter bursts out)

Aliyu: Mr. Chairman, it is almost two hours and we need to round up. So let us decide on the communiqué.

Amaechi: True. Emma please take down these notes for the press. So we discussed the state of insecurity in the nation and resolved that the Federal Government needs to do more to tackle insecurity. 

Uduaghan: Yes. Please add that we also discussed the declaration of the State of Emergency and resolved that the National Assembly should pass the resolutions quickly, to allow the Armed Forces to restore order. 

Fashola: Please make the point that it was not a unanimous resolution because ACN Governors are not supporting that one.

Amaechi: Okay. Emma take note of that.

Jang: Also add that we also resolved to thank the Armed Forces for their service to our homeland, and encourage the Federal Government to support the troops with sufficient equipment to enable them fulfill their missions. 

Nyarko: Yes, good one.

Amosun: Also add that we discussed the proposed changes to our debt profile, and resolved that the country does not need to be borrowing more until we can reform our institutions to ensure that the money is being used for what it is borrowed for. We can't keep on piling debts for our children.

Aregbesola: Supported. That is a good suggestion.

Akpabio: Can we also please add that we also resolved to commend the President for his strong leadership, and encourage him to continue to work hard in tackling the issue of terrorism in Nigeria.

Amaechi: Okay that's good. Any more suggestions?

Chime: I think that is good.

Fashola: Good enough.

Amaechi: Okay then. Emma please prepare this and distribute to the press. Who will do the briefing?

Dakingari: I can do it.

Amaechi: Okay that's good. Who is moving for adjournment?

Ahmed: What about the agenda for the next meeting?

Shema: I think we are reconvening tomorrow for the elections.

Amaechi: No. we are reconvening tomorrow to discuss the elections, not hold elections.

Elechi: Okay I move for adjournment.

Al-Makura: I second it.

Amaechi: Our meeting for tonight has concluded. We meet again tomorrow night.

To be continued…

NOTE: This is completely satirical and for entertainment purposes only. Any similarities to names and offices was intended to entertain and not educate.

by Valentine Uche Chukwuma